Ride or Die

Sometimes God puts you in situations to see just how ride or die you are for Him. I remember the Columbine incident in Colorado, and one of the victims was asked if she believed in the Lord. Her answer was yes, and she was killed. When I heard about that, I had to ask myself if I was put in the same situation, how would I respond. Of course it is easy right now to say "Sure I would say I believe", but Peter, one of Jesus disciples was put in that situation and he folded. What I do believe is I am experiencing one of those test just to see how ride or die I am for the Lord.
I submitted my material for the Queen Latifah contest. Without a doubt in my mind, I knew I was going to win. Of course I think I am the perfect candidate to open for Queen Latifah and be in a cover girl spread. I prayed and prayed and I asked God, "Lord if its your will let me win this". I went hard, no letting any doubt in my mind. I don't think anyone wanted this as bad as me. Well, call backs were yesterday and needless to say, I did not get called. So I stand here heart broken and wondering what now? My mother asked me like three days ago, "what if you don't get it". I told her, "well, I'll keep going and believe in God for something greater".
And I will. Sometimes what we want for ourselves is not always what God has lined up for our lives. To be able to perform for Queen Latifah is a dream for me, however, this may not be the stage the Lord wants me to perform on. Perhaps it could be the Grammies. Who knows. But I will keep trusting God for something greater. I am still ride or die for the Lord. Even though I am a little disappointed, God has blessed in so many different ways. I will keep going.
You too will go through (if you are not going through it already) time when you have to show that through it all you still love the Lord. No matter what! you still love the Lord. I encourage you to stay encouraged and stay strong in your walk with Jesus. He has not and will not let you down.
Isaiah 50:10-11
10 -11Who out there fears God,
actually listens to the voice of his servant? For anyone out there who doesn't know where you're going,
anyone groping in the dark, Here's what: Trust in God.
Lean on your God! But if all you're after is making trouble,
playing with fire,
Go ahead and see where it gets you.
Set your fires, stir people up, blow on the flames, But don't expect me to just stand there and watch.
I'll hold your feet to those flames.

Until Next Time...

These are my Confesstions

I was looking back over the many blogs I have written for Jesus Cousin and I have found that I have done a lot of confessing. I have mentioned things about my life that would never come up in a normal conversation. And though I have mentioned very personal things, admitting and sharing my stories have been therapy for me. It has help me face many situations in my life that I wanted to just go away. Truth is, things that you do not face head up do not go away. They linger. They haunt you. God allows you to experience certain things to to teach you a lesson and to make you stronger.

I encounter many people who have things in their past they do not want to talk about. What people do not realize is by not learning from mistakes or addressing your past it could be hindering from being happy and moving on. One thing recently I had to do was explore a time in my past where I was in an abusive relationship. It was a time in my life that I felt lower than low. After I got out of the situation, I tried to ignore and even deny it ever happen. The more I tried to bury it, the more it would effect my life. It effected my interaction with men, it made me want to drink excessively, it turned me into an anti-social person. All this in an attempt to forget about it. What I realized I had to do was face it. I had to talk about it to make it real that it happened. I had to forgive not only him, but forgive myself as well. Then I had to learn from it. Next thing was to tell someone else what I went through to help them in their walk.

Holding on to things can and will effect your relationship with the Lord. That is something that you do not want to happen. I encourage you to begin confessing and talking to God about the things you are trying to cover up in your life. He knows all about it already. Acknowledge your past and use it as a way to become stronger.

Leviticus 26
40 If they shall confess their iniquity, and the iniquity of their fathers, with their trespass which they trespassed against me, and that also they have walked contrary unto me;
41 And that I also have walked contrary unto them, and have brought them into the land of their enemies; if then their uncircumcised hearts be humbled, and they then accept of the punishment of their iniquity:
42 Then will I remember my covenant with Jacob, and also my covenant with Isaac, and also my covenant with Abraham will I remember; and I will remember the land.

Until Next time...